Comedy Central
By Chiderah Monde
Having taken his home state of Michigan with a relatively small margin (3.2%) in the primaries, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney is putting a positive spin on things, joking "we didn't win by a lot, but we won by enough." This inspired "The Colbert Report's" Stephen Colbert Wednesday night to pen a new campaign slogan for the GOP frontrunner: "Romney 2012: Enough."
Still, Colbert admitted he's a bit scared. Rick Santorum's momentum has weakened the GOP, which is now desperate to find a non-Romney leader, he said. If they can?t find a solid candidate before Super Tuesday, they?ll have to suck it up and rally around Romney.
"Get Bobby Jindal a fake ID if he isn?t 35 yet!" Colbert suggested. Others he?d like to see in the race? New Jersey Governor Chris Christie or Florida Senator Marco Rubio. Colbert said he?ll even take ?that lady who?s not a witch.? (That is Delaware?s Christine O?Donnell). Facing the harsh reality that Mitt might be it for Republicans, Colbert started the Countdown to Loving Mitt Clock.
?We now have 6 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes to find a replacement for this robotic plutocrat who couldn?t hold the attention of cats with a can of tuna,? Colbert deadpanned.
Meanwhile, Jon Stewart began last night with a new segment: The Long, Winding, Bumpy-A-- Road to The White House. The ?Daily Show? host tuned in pretty late and Michigan hadn?t been called yet, so he flipped over to the cable news regulars for their updates on the episodic primary. And what he got there was a m?lange of uncertainty, some cool high-tech equipment (a computer screen) being shown to kill time, and Anderson Cooper giving a tour of the fancy glass CNN studio -- all without any solid information.?
He then turned to the most reliable news team around -- the "Daily Show" reporters -- who were all stuffed in a glass box. They had nothing to report either.
And finally, at least someone seems to like Mitt: Arizona Senator John McCain sat down with "Tonight Show" host Jay Leno to remind everyone that he was still a Romney supporter. He added that he really would have liked to see a larger margin between Romney and his closest competitor, Rick Santorum. Then McCain expressed his disgust with the concept of Super PACs, calling them corrupt -- which drew considerable applause from Leno's audience. And in what seemed like the nicest way he could put it, McCain made it clear that he isn?t really a fan of Rick Santorum.
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