Nagging questions about post-divorce dating?.?

Okay, background info, I'm a 28 yr old newly single mom of two boys (ages 4 & 6). This question is not an implication that I want to start dating again, because my divorce isn't even final, and I realize that I need to give myself some time before starting a new relationship. just some questions that are running through my head.

Do a lot of people have a fear that after the divorce and the kids, no one else will want them? I wasn't ever that great at the whole dating game to begin with, and I hear these horror stories about single moms and how the men they date pretty much scram after they find out about the kids. to divorced parents (moms especially), did you worry about whether anyone would want to be in a relationship with you post-divorce?

I'm also having some trouble with a major rule that I think should be followed exactly, but I can't figure out how to do that. I'm gonna run out of room, so be patient so I can finish the question.

#1: I'm divorced as well, 2 children, would PREFER to date a woman w/children ? not so uncommon, and we always hear the horrible stories, but rarely the to great ones (it's like people slowing down to watch the car wreck)
#2: It's YOUR family, your life ? specific rules about how things are done come with the family.

So, someone interested in you (& Children) will be interested in specific rules.

if a guy is into the woman, the kids are part of the package. take it or leave it? and visa versa
it's just a matter if the kids accept the person that is coming into their lives.
if everyone gets along, then run with it.. if not.. run away from it.

i met a woman with 3 daughters. i was afraid they wouldn;t like me when i first met them.. i did some research and found out what they liked and went shopping.. when i met them, i bribed them.. they LOVE me.. not because i 'bought' them, because i knew how to win them over from the get go. i showed them that i had an interest and it was great from there?

no I never worried about whether anyone would want to date me??I was more worried I wouldn't want to date them??or have the time to date, and I really didn't have the time?..

If this male friend is already in their life I see no reason why you should not let the kids see him if it turns into something more.that would only confuse the kids(here today, gone tomorrow). I agree that kids should not develop a relationship with every guy you date but if things get serious they should meet the fellow.You will want to know how he acts around your children.be up front with the guys from the beginning about your children.I am divorced and remarried.My son was grown when his father and I divorced and my daughter was 15 so I had things a little differently.You sound like you have a pretty good plan in place.just be willing to adjust your plan if needed.

im sure with the whole dating game that everyone feels some sort of insecurity. don't let that lower your standard at all. your kids are young and they will not understand the transition. don't do this all at once cause divorce is very hard on kids. I remember that very well when I was a kid

I was not worried if men would want to date me. My biggest concern was whether or not they would accept my children. Blessedly, I found a man that accepted all 6 of mine along with all the responsibility. (and don't worry about what people "think" you should do ?follow your gut. You are much smarter now than you were then. You may be ready to date now OR you might not be ready for years yet? either way? do it YOUR way and don't let others determine for you when the right time to date is. Best wishes on your new life! and after reading your addition? the guy WILL understand if you are the one for him. otherwise? move on from anyone who doesn't want to play by your rules.

All your concerns about "will someone want you?, will someone accept the children?" are normal concerns. You just give it time and that will change. it is good to have rules about not bringing people around the children until you know this for good. The kids have a lot to deal with already.

As far as the man who owns the store across the street, well don't kid yourself, you know you are into the guy and you are confused about how to deal with. You do need to remember that you are not divorced yet, and that you should respect that for the sake of the children. be on you own for a minute, give it time, it will all play out.

Tags: car wreck, Human Interest, fear, single mom, dating game, boys ages
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