CECY j -Splendid Living- Creating the Spirit of Your Home

August 25, 2011 ? 5:26 am

Thank you to everyone who submitted questions for Momma this week.

Each week, my resident parenting expert, my MOMMA, (Dr. Eve-Marie Arce) who holds a B.A. in Child Development, a Masters in Early Childhood Education & Family Development and a doctorate in Organizational Leadership, has hosted a television parenting series and authored two Early Childhood Education books? will answer our parenting questions.

All the answers will be stored under the??ask my MOMMA??button so we all can refer to her answers for our future parenting predicaments.

Feel free to email your parenting questions to Momma at?askmomma@cecyj.com.

Live Splendid & Be Well,

I?m confused about time-out.? My son just turned 2 and he is starting to act-out.? Should I start putting him in time-outs or is the message lost on kids his age?? And if he?s too young now, at what age is time-out a good idea?? I know he needs to learn consequences but what works best with kids his age?? ?Also, is it an urban myth or should I put him in one minute of time-out for every year that he is old?

Melissa, San Carlos, CA

Dear Melissa,

As you might expect, ?time-out? is definitely over used. ?That does not mean that you cannot?use it effectively. ?Guidance and consequences should match the stage of the child?s development. ?Most two-year-olds will act out. ?That is normal and expected for this stage of development and yet, too many toddlers are inappropriately thrown into time-out (or forced to face some other consequence) without understanding what they did wrong. Children, particularly young children, need ongoing talks and explanations from their parents to understand right and wrong.

Once you have defined limits appropriately,?you will begin to recognize that?your child?s behavior is more purposeful. ?They?understand what you have said and still chose to challenge your rules. ?This is when you decide to respond with a consequence like a time-out or withdrawal of an enjoyable recorded program or toy. ?The appropriate time for a time-out needs to fit the circumstances, including the nature of the misbehavior and the attention span of the child to gauge effectiveness.?

Interestingly, as your child matures, you may be the one who?needs time-out just to cool down in order to guide your child?s behavior in a positive way. Too often parents fail to focus on the inappropriateness of the behavior and instead tear down the child for what will seem, in retrospect, an inconsequential violation. ?I am not implying that follow up and consequences aren?t important? just remember that the child?s age and their offense are critical considerations.? The ?urban myth? proposes this concept. ?Add on to that notion factors such as your child?s temperament, his earlier behaviors, and the guidance you have provided to him.

Source: http://cecyj.com/2011/08/25/3917/

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